6.19.2008

The beauty of unintended humor...

Today, I was checking out news articles online when I found this little nugget on CNN...


The highlighted section says, "The father is Casey Aldridge, a pipe-layer from Liberty, Mississippi." (emphasis mine)

Yes.

I'm sure he is...

12.03.2007

Flattery...one heck of a Chanukah present...

Last week, I received an email to my blog email account. Not having written in a long time (I know, I know...no guilt please), I figured that it would be something asking me if I wanted a larger penis, some Canadian drugs, or some Canadian drugs that would give me a larger penis.

It wasn't.

But it was something almost as cool...

It was an email from a Jewish publishing company. Apparently, someone over there was doing some Google searching on microcalligraphy and came across this post, which you may remember from my Blundering Through Israel series.

Apparently, they want to publish part of that post in a book for Jewish school kids!

(That was the point that I started doing the "happy dance.")

Needless to say, I'm incredibly, profoundly, and immensely flattered. As you might have guessed by the footer, I'm always a bit surprised when someone reads and enjoys what I write here. After all, I'm no Neil, Sass, Liz, Tracy, Kevin, or Julia. I haven't even varied from the standard blogger web site. I just write a bit on this little corner of the internet. And not having been around lately, I'm not exactly expecting a lot of visitors. So, that someone would actually want to reprint what I wrote is both surprising and touching.

So, yes, I'm beside myself with the flattery.

But don't worry, I'm not quitting my day job just yet...

Oh...and of course, Happy Holidays! I miss you all and hope to be back soon!!!

8.23.2007

WHAT!?!?!?!

I've stayed away from commenting on the whole Michael Vick thing. Probably because there's so much media attention on how degrading and disgusting his soon-to-be admitted actions were, I just didn't feel the need to join the chorus.

However, today I saw this article. (The article has since changed to reflect that he "backed off" the comments.)

Allow me to summarize (the original article)...

NBA star Stephon Marbury believes that all the hype about Michael Vick is overblown because, and I quote, "You know, from what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors."

Excuse me???

First of all, I wonder if Marbury's "from what I hear" is like the "friend" people reference when they look for advice on embarrassing things. You know..."Well, I have this friend..."

Second, what kind of fucking "sport" has to be engaged in "behind closed doors?"

Third, I'd like to have someone make Marbury fight for his life for their pecuniary gain and be electrocuted or body slammed to death if they aren't up to par. After that, let's see if he thinks it's a "sport."

What a fucktard.

Oh...and on the Michael Vick thing, I'll say this: Who could have guessed that he would make Marcus the "good son?"

8.05.2007

They say it's your birthday...

Friday was my birthday.

Sorry for telling you so late...

I've always had pretty crappy birthdays.  In fact, it's been known to be a birthday curse by my family.  They try...they always do, but generally my birthday just sucks.

I think the reason for this began because I'm a summer birthday.  A lot of people say, "Oh, that's great!  Summer birthdays are the best!  You get pool parties!"  While there is, of course, some merit to the pool party argument (who really can dispute the pool party?)  Summer birthdays generally sucked.

When I was in elementary school, the kids who had birthdays during the school year always had a day of "special treatment."  The teachers would get them balloons, their parents would bring a cake, we'd all sing.  This, of course, was in addition to the birthday party that would inevitably follow the next week.

Of course, when my August birthday rolled around, all my school friends were at sleep-away camp and weren't around.  The camp friends were really more interested in camp than in your birthday, so, for some reason it always felt like a second-rate birthday.

Then, when I was 16, I started to have a what I lovingly refer to as a birthday curse.  For some reason, things just never worked out on my birthday.

It wasn't until I was 29 that I had a truly enjoyable birthday.  I organized a nice dinner with my friends in the city I was living in, which, because I was moving, doubled as a going-away party. So, even though it was enjoyable, it was bittersweet.

Well, this year, I had what has to qualify as the best birthday ever, all thanks to the adorable lady that has kept me busy and away from this online locale.  Last Friday (I know!!! Friday birthday!!!  How cool, right?!?!?), I woke up ten minutes before my alarm to knocking on my front door.  Okay, that did scare the hell out of me, but when I opened the door and saw my fantastic girlfriend with bags of stuff, I knew something good was up.

She immediately told me to go back to bed.  Well, ten minutes later, I was awoken again to breakfast in bed.  Now, although I've brought breakfast in bed to others, I've never had it brought to me.  But, I fully admit, this wasn't any breakfast in bed.

No, no.  This was amazing.

Try not to be too jealous...

Stuffed french toast with strawberries, two types of syrup and chocolate skim milk.

And I got to eat it with her.

Oh yes, this was incredible.

So, after I woke up, I was greeted to the best things anyone could want on their birthday...

Presents!

Now, keep in mind, for years, I've been a "Presence is presents enough" kind of guy.  And, of course, that was true here.  Breakfast in bed was already presents enough.  But, I awoke to a "sushi-making kit" and a rice cooker, so we could make sushi together.  And, just when I thought that was all, I also received a stuffed college mascot, with a recording of my college football fight chant recorded by this lovely lady.

Well, the rest of the day was just as great.  Birthday calls from family and friends, lunch with the co-workers (who's company I genuinely enjoy), surprise gifts from my assistant, and sushi dinner with my friends and that lovely girl who already treated me so wonderfully.

And then, a cake!  

And just when I thought it was over, I came home, checked my email and had no less than fifteen happy birthday messages.  Most of which I shared with that lovely lady who made it such a special birthday.

Oh yes.  Indeed, a birthday to surpass them all.

To that lovely lady, thank you for making it, and everything, so wonderful.  And to the rest of you, I hope all your birthdays are just as wonderful. 

7.10.2007

Sicko and Morning Joe

I went to go see Michael Moore's new movie, Sicko, this weeeknd. Now, I fully admit he Moore is a total lightning rod, but as someone who had worked in the legal field in health care, I was particularly interested in what he was going to say.

I was not disappointed. Go see the movie.

Seriously.

And, when you want to do something when it's over, go to Moore's website and sign the petition to expand Medicare to all Americans.

Seriously.

Medicare has 1% administrative expenses (over head and SALARIES), while private insurance companies, even not-for-profit ones, have 30% or more in administrative expenses (much of which is salaries). Medicare is the most efficient health care payment system in the United States.

And as Moore implies, there's no reason that when we're spending more on healthcare than any other country (15% of our Gross National Product) on healthcare, that we should have the 37th healthcare system in the world (particularly when we already pay for one of the most efficient ones).

But what has disapponted me most is seeing the mainstream reaction to the film. Basically, there's a general acknowledgement that there's a problem with healthcare, but then, there's no actually discussion of the issue or the merits of any particular solution, whether it be a full universal system (such as what I advocated above), a basic universal system with supplemental insurance provided by employers or other sources, the present system with ERISA amended to require health insurance companies to be liable for their decisions (you want to see them start paying...make them liable for when they don't), or something else. That's the discussion that I hoped this movie would inspire.

Apparently, I'm truly naive. Because that's not the response I've seen.

Instead, the prototypical example that I've seen has been what was on "Morning Joe" on MSNBC this morning.

Here's what I learned:

1) Michael Moore is fat.

2) People are generally obese, which is their fault, and they need to change their eating habits and that (impliedly) will fix the problem.

3) Joe Scarborough has a personal trainer and that's why he's not fat, so people should be like him and exercise more.

My retorts:

1) Ad hominem argument - Whether Moore is fat or not neither harms nor buttresses Moore's argument that the health care system in the United States is woefully inadequate.

2) Where to start? First of all, obesity is not the obese person's problem...it's everyone's problem. The whole point of Sicko is that we're all in this together. So, if there's an American obesity problem, it's a problem for all of us, whether we're personally obese or not. If 30% of us are fat, it just means we're all going to sink together quicker. We're all going to have higher premiums, less opportunities to see our doctors, more Medicare/Medicaid/Private Insurance expenses. Ridiculing people who are doesn't get any of us anywhere quicker.

Second, a number of expensive health problems have nothing to do with obesity, but rather have to do with the profiteering of the private insurance system. I don't think pre-approval of ambulance services is something that is affected by whether you're obese or not, nor do I believe that obese people are more likely to get most forms of cancer. While obesity may help reduce the incidents of Type II Diabetes, heart attack and stroke, other severe debilitating illnesses, accidents, and the simple effects of age are not necessarily helped by reduced weight.

Third, why are 30% of Americans obese? Certainly, there are a number of factors, but let me suggest that part of the reason is that we do not teach good eating and exercise habits. I imagine most adults, frankly, don't know them, having been raised in a society that constantly advertises fast food, where we are told we need to work more to get ahead...essentially, working ourselves to death. Should we teach those values to our children? That would be a good place to start. So what have we been teaching children about health and physical fitness? Well, we certainly haven't been teaching them anything about it at school. We've decided that accountability for teachers is the priority there, so we've instituted school "grades" and "tests" to determine which schools are teaching better than others. However, those tests are in academic subjects (which, you know I value), but not about physical fitness. So schools, which are constantly faced with reduced state education funds are forced to make tough choices and, if you're an administrator being graded on how your students perform academically, but not physically, when you have to choose between cutting gym and an academic program, which are you going to pick? I'm guessing gym.

By the way, do you know what the top state expense in almost every (if not every) state (and certainly in my home state of Florida) is? Healthcare. Specifically, Medicaid - the joint state-federal program to provide healthcare to the poor. A universal basic system of healthcare would take this expense out of state budgets entirely. Then we could actually dedicate state tax dollars to education, like we should...including teaching nutrition, physical fitness, and other areas, reducing obesity and other lifestyle health-related problems (heck, then we might even pay teachers a living wage!!!).

3) I guess, being a member of Congress and now being a television personality makes it unlikely that former Representative Scarborough is going to run out of time to go to the gym and still have time to spend with his family. Also, I imagine his salary makes it much easier for him to hire a personal trainer at at least $50/session. Give me his salary and I'll hire a personal trainer too. In fact, if everyone in the U.S. had his salary and hours, then he'd be right...of course, there would be a lot of demand for personal trainers. --- Seriously though, this proves my point with #2. If Scarborough needs a personal trainer, then it means that he a) lacks motivation to do it himself or b) doesn't know what he's doing at the gym and needs someone to teach him. If the former is the case, he has nothing to complain about other people's lack of motivation. If the latter is the case, then he's an example of how we have failed to teach basic physical education as a result of the same policies that he advocated in Congress...teaching for a test.

Well, that's my take for now. Ideas anyone?