When I was in law school, I had a single apartment. Unlike undergrad, where roommates often get in the way and where studying was less frequent, I felt a single apartment would offer me the solitude needed for marathon study sessions. So, because I was often the only person at home, friends knew they could call me late at night and, unless a female voice answered, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
One evening, I called my friend V_____. V_____ had gone to undergrad with me, but left for graduate school in Canada (see Sass, I know someone else from Canada). V____ and I had always been fast friends and often engaged in the verbal jousting that tested both intellect and flirtation. V____ told me that she couldn't talk at the time, but promised she would call me back.
I ended up falling asleep and was awoken to the sound of my ringing phone.
"Heeelllooo," I said in that sleepy weariness between the world of the sandman and reality.
"Hi!," exclaimed the exceedingly cheery voice on the phone.
"Hi, how are you?," I asked V____, still drifting in and out of consciousness.
"I'm gooood! Were you asleep?" she asked, still exceedingly cheery.
"Uh huh," I responded, fighting to keep myself awake.
"Want me to come over and cuddle?"
I understand, at this point, I probably should have realized that this was not V_____. I mean, V____ lived in Canada and I was in Florida. But for some reason, I thought not only that this was V____, but that she was fucking with me. So, in proper fashion, I played along.
"Of course, I do! Hold on a second. Let me wake up."
Then I put the phone down and rubbed my eyes. I sat up to fight off the sleepiness and, finally, picked up the phone.
"Okay, I'm back."
"Okay, so you want me to come over and cuddle?," she repeated. There was a high pitched giggle in the background, that I realized had been there for most of this conversation.
Now, that I had awoken, my dreary voice was back to normal.
"Sure," I said maintaining my side of the charade, "do you know where to go?"
"Wait a second," there was a pause and in my mind's eye, I could see this girl figuring out this wasn't the voice of the person she had intended to call. She returned, serious as a heart attack, stating, "Is Tim there?"
"Uh...sorry, there's no Tim here."
"I'm sorry. Wrong number."
"No problem. Does this mean you're not coming over to cuddle?"
[click]
And while I considered the fun I could have had with call return (a/k/a *69), I went back to sleep with a smile, knowing I had just given two college girls one hell of a story to tell.
Hawk Tuah Girl Haliey Welch is Not Jewish. Probably.
4 months ago
7 comments:
Fun times.
So, you want to come over and cuddle or what?
Sure. Do you know where to go? :)
Thanks for the comment!
By the way, V___ now lives in Boston, not Canada.
Yes, she does. But at the time she lived in, and is from, Canada.
Technically is from Florida, just born in Canada. In any case the only important part is that she no longer has the puff hairdo.
She is married now by the way.
If you'd been more awake you probably would have gotten both of them to come over and cuddle. Dear Penthouse....
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